


Baby Rock

by smokeseasons



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst With A Side of Angst, Eventual fluff and smut, F/F, gird your loins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeseasons/pseuds/smokeseasons
Summary: Laura is a former pop idol trying to remake her career with a new band trying to prove herself. Carmilla is the lead singer of popular rock group who is disgruntled at having a former puff princess as her opening act.





	1. I'm known as a right-hand slugger

**Author's Note:**

> Another carmilla!punk-rock fic that nobody really needs tbh. This is the first fic I've written in a really long time so please be gentle.
> 
> Inspired by the song [Baby Rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoyOxJA8hB8) by Dead Sara.

Her fingers were stained with ink.

Blots of dark puddles smeared around the tips, bleeding through the paper in front of her. She’s writing fast, she’s not writing enough. Her breath hitched in her throat, instantly folding the paper into the palm of her hands into a tight ball, discarding it with a careless grunt. The words are never enough, too overused. A fucking cliche. _Just like you._ Shaking her head clear, Carmilla ran her palms over her face, the exhaustion in her shoulders weighing her down like an anchor being dropped into the bottom of the ocean. She was never going to find the right words. The right way to make anything come out. 

She hadn’t been able to write anything new in almost two years. 

The sounds of the world around her slowly hit her ears. A car alarm blaring from somewhere down the street. Strangers feet stomping down the hallway. An elevator dinging open and a distant group of laughter creeping from underneath her door before quieting down. The sound of the television she left on all night echoing from the bedroom. She had forgotten, that time always somehow slowed down when she was trying to write and always sped up the moment the fog in her brain lifted. Curling her back, Carmilla stretched her arms over her head, elbows bending in relief at the cracking in her joints. The disconnected parts of her slowly snapping back together as she pushed herself from the paper littered desk. Boots crunching over words that she scribbled on paper and wanted to flush and forget about. _She’d clean that later._

Reaching the bedroom, Carmilla tore her shirt over her head, needing a shower to wash the filth of her disappointed cliches down the drain. She’d start again tomorrow. Or maybe never. Her ears picked up the sound of the television again, listening to the all too familiar pop song that was playing. Her eyes lingered on the screen, watching the music video, cringing at the awkward dancing and lip synching. The glitter eyeshadow. The bright colors that S C R E A M E D bubble gum POP. 

Her hand slammed the tv off.  
_She fucking hated that song._  
She needed a hot shower.  
The lyrics would have to wait.

* * *

“Tell me why we’re here again?” Eyebrows raised above a pair of dark sunglasses, Carmilla scowled slightly into her whiskey. This was not her idea of going out, sitting in a dank bar that smelt like vomit and piss. unwashed bodies and sweat. “and I don’t want to hear anything about any kind of sisterly bonding bullshit.”

“I’m not interested in your brooding dramatics Mircalla.” Barely touching the glass of wine sitting in front of her, Mattie’s threat cut through Carmilla’s scowling. Too busy fiercely typing away on her phone without so much as a glance towards her sister and her growling into her nearly empty cup at the name.

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?” Slamming the empty glass down on the table, Carmilla ignored the looks from others around them in the dark bar. She was still far too sober to be dealing with her sister that night. Her head was aching, eyes burning from the lack of alcohol and sleep in her system. “Mattie, if you have no better reason for us being here I’m going to-”

Calmly placing her now forgotten phone on the table, Mattie took the glass of wine between her fingers, regarding her younger sister with an unamused look. “You’re going to what? Throw another rockstar fit and throw the table over? Maybe break a few glasses? Or better yet-” Leaning across the table, Mattie’s voice dipped dangerously low enough to make the other girl curl back in her seat ever so slightly.” Do your own interpretation of Coyote Ugly on the bar again? Because that was a fun mess I’d rather not clean up twice.” Easing back into her own chair, Mattie’s eyes flickered back towards the stage, her own irritation growing. “I might be your sister and manager but sometimes I get sick of wiping your ass all the time Mircalla.” 

Breathing out, Carmilla shook the melting ice in her glass around, biting down hard enough on her tongue to almost draw blood. She was in no mood to get into a full fledged argument with her sister in the middle of satan’s pit stain of a bar. Ignoring Mattie’s previous words, Carmilla changed the subject, leaning a leather clad elbow on the table. “Are you at least going to tell me why you dragged me into this grease pit?”

Pressing long fingers to her temples, Mattie kept her eyes on the stage, as if she were willing someone to magically appear. Carmilla narrowed her eyes on the other woman, watching the delicate _tapping_ of her nails against her face, her long fingers swiping over her mouth. This wasn’t some sisterly night out. No this was…

“Mattie, no.”

“Excuse me?” Droning out a tired sigh, Mattie barely glanced at the girl next to her. Carmilla instantly whipped her sunglasses off, tossing them face up as she pointed her finger against the table top. Growling each word underneath her breath. 

“You better tell me that you didn’t drag me out here to this shit hole for some open mic night.” When Mattie pressed her lips further together around her glass of wine, Carmilla took another deep breath. Slowly counting down to calm her nerves and whatever gods above to keep her from losing the last thread of patience she had left. “You’re unbelievable. The last thing I want to be doing is spending my night listening to a bunch of whiny children plucking at three chords covering Taylor Swift songs.” Gathering her glasses and phone from the table, Carmilla shoved them into the pockets of her leather jacket, chair scraping on the grimy bar floor. Mattie’s voice however, stopped her from even taking a step backwards. 

“Make like a magnet and drop your ass back into that seat. Now.” Speaking through gritted teeth, Mattie spoke in a deep voice that still made Carmilla almost piss her pants. Even as an adult, it was enough for Carmilla to rethink her exit towards the door and slowly plop down into her seat. It still didn’t stop her from curling her lips up at the back of her sisters head, instantly shoving her sunglasses on, grumbling underneath her breath. She sat through five (as she predicted) Taylor Swift covers, one decent Nirvana song, and something Carmilla could only describe as _“a fucking goat screaming in pain.”_ Pissed pants or not, she was ready to leave. Mattie’s anger was more appealing to deal with than the headache pounding in her temples. She was about to open her mouth, when she noticed her sitting up straighter as the lights dimmed again. Carmilla squinted her eyes towards the small stage again, watching as a tiny brunette stepped out. She held an acoustic guitar that was almost comically bigger than her. 

“Hello, how’s everyone doing?” Clearing her throat, the small girl spoke nervously into the mic, laughing in her own clear discomfort. Her hands ran over the cords a few times, clearly trying to find her own ease on stage, sitting on a tiny stool that squeaked everytime she squirmed. “My name’s Laura and this song is called Adore You. I uh, I hope you like it.” Clearing her throat once more, Laura, strummed her guitar, closing her eyes to seemingly block out the unenthusiastic crowd in front of her, all the bunched up nerves in her arms slowly relaxing. Leaning forward, she sang into the mic, her small voice echoing off the walls of the bar.

_I'm just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm_  
_I'm just gonna walk home kicking stones at parked cars_  
_But I had a great night, 'cause you kept rubbing against my arm  
_ _I'm just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm._

Laura’s eyes remained closed, but Carmilla was drawn to her face. The raise in her eyebrows at certain words. The small sway in her shoulders as she ran her fingers up the neck of her guitar smoothly. The way her face scrunched up slightly as she lost herself in the simple sound of her acoustic. Her chipped nail polished fingers pulling at the strings so effortlessly. Carmilla’s own fingers itched against the ripped jeans of her knees, mimicking the chords over her legs easily. She didn’t notice the look her sister gave her as the small brunette on stage continued to play.

_Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip_  
_Just so I can adore you_  
_I want the entire street out of town_  
_Just so I can be alone with you_  
_Now go when you're ready_  
_My head's getting heavy_  
_Pressed against your arm  
_ I adore you 

_All of my money is spent on these nights, just so we can hang out_  
_Squeezing in and out of these dresses, I wanna be found by you_  
_Found by you_  
_I kick the gutter in tight shorts, basketball courts_  
_Watch me, watch her talk to girls_  
_I'm known as a right-hand slugger  
_ _Anybody else wanna touch my lover?_

Carmilla watched as Laura’s eyes finally opened, honey eyes blazing a little brighter than before. Comfort sat on her bones, her body more relaxed as confidence shot through her. Fingers gripping her guitar with more ease, taking a breath as her eyes scanned the bar at all the faces, almost ghosting over Carmilla’s. Small voice growing swallowing the small bar over the end of the chorus.

_Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip_  
_Just so I can adore you_  
_I want the entire street out of town_  
_Just so I can be alone with you_  
_Now go when you're ready_  
_My head's getting heavy_  
_Pressed against your arm  
_ _Just to adore you, I adore you_

Licking her lips, Laura’s face scrunched into a shy smile, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she thanked the crowds enthusiastic applause. While Laura talked, something instantly hit Carmilla as she turned towards Mattie who had yet to be moved from her seat, her fingers stroking over her lips in thought, whispering to her. “Mattie, I just realized something. Is that…”

“Laura Hollis? Yes.”

“ _That_ Laura Hollis?” 

“Mmmhmm.” Keeping her eyes on the stage, Mattie crossed her legs easily, holding her wine glass in her hands. The wheels clearly turning in her head as Laura started to play another song, a smirk growing across her lips. 

“She’s going to be your new opening act darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS? I hope you enjoyed, this one was kind of short but I promise the chapters will get longer as the story goes on. I'll try to have a second chapter up soon. 
> 
> You can also harass me on [Tumblr](http://smokeseasons.tumblr.com) if you like.
> 
> Song used in fic:  
> [Adore by Amy Shark.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz_XJCC0qaY)


	2. Death Goddess in a Pantsuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla almost fucks it up before she actually does fuck it all up.

Her flannel shirt was soaked through. She couldn’t stop the shake in her fingers, the rattling that went off inside of her head. She could barely let out a breath, her knees almost buckling the moment she stepped off the small stage, fingers gripping the neck of her Takamine. Placing her hand along the dirty brick walls, Laura leaned all of her weight into it, trying to settle the nerves out of her body. _Breathe in, out, slowly, calm._

She needed to get over it. She needed to get a fucking grip. She had to get over this crippling fear at some point. _It was eight fucking years ago she should just-_

“Great job tonight Hollis. You didn’t puke this time.”

Laura looked up from her sanctuary against the wall, using the elbow of her flannel shirt to quickly wipe the sweat that coated her forehead. She could barely smile at the large man standing in front of her. “Thanks Mike. I’m still sorry about your shoes.” Big Mike was _huge_. Extra large Home Depot refrigerator huge. He was the one person in her life she trusted more than anyone else she knew. She handed over her guitar, her case in his hands as he carefully put it away, watching the girl trying to recollect herself from her stage fright. His fingers snapped the case loudly, picking it up as he placed a hand on her back, guiding her through the crowded bar, signaling to the bartender, pointing towards Laura.

“Wendy, anything for her, on the house. Got it?” Patting a beefy hand over smaller girls shoulder, he nodded his head towards the stage. “I gotta get back to work, but you did great tonight, you hear me kid? Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” 

“I’ll send my goodbyes via carrier pigeon.”

“Smartass. Your sarcasm, while cute, is completely unnecessary. Be careful getting home Hollis. I mean it.” Mikes voice boomed from across the room, parting the large crowd like the red sea as his large body moved with ease. Leaning her elbows against the bar top, Laura pressed her chin into open palms closing her eyes. Her head felt light, shoulders finally easing into relief at not being underneath the stage lights burning holes into her brain. She could vaguely remember how awful those lights could burn right through her, making her feel sick. Turning around, Laura picked up her guitar case, readying herself to flee the small venue and leave her thoughts sticking to the floor just as her own shoes did. Her escape was unfortunately stopped by her case slamming into someone’s knees. Laura’s eyes scraped themselves from the floor, following heavily studded boots, all the way to a pair of ripped black jeans, and a distressed shirt that had more holes in it than a package of swiss cheese. Her eyes lingered a little longer on the collar bones peering out from underneath the ripped collar, finally meeting a flashing white smile on a pair of blood red lips smirking back at her. 

“Well, well, if isn’t Laura Hollis as I live and breathe in the actual flesh. How are you, _Cupcake?”_

If looks could kill.  
Laura Hollis would have murdered her on the spot.

Two shots in hand, Carmilla almost fidgeted underneath the other girls eyes slowly narrowing in on her. Murder was written across the brunettes face as Carmilla held out the other shot in her hand as a peace offering. Trying to reroute where the conversation had clearly halted before it even started. “Sorry, that was-”

“Don’t.” Laura took a step back away from the dark haired girl, the red smirk on her lips, white teeth almost glowing underneath the dark of the bar. She could feel the nerves in her stomach tightening up again as the other woman’s arm slid against the length of the bar, almost entrapping her against it. Licking her lips, Laura held a hand up, using her fingers to push the small glass shot back to the other girl. “Ever call me that again.” Grip tightening on the handle of her case, Laura tried to push against the other girls arm, teeth clenching. “Move. Please.”

Scoffing loudly, Carmilla eased back slightly, using her free hand to push the other shot back towards Laura carefully, her eyes never leaving the girls face. Her shoulders square and heavy with tension, her fingers clasped onto her case so tight she could see the white in her knuckles. Taking another approach, Carmilla tried again, her words softer this time. “I didn’t mean to offend you, or whatever it is that’s got you so tightly wound princess. I just came to talk. Think you can spare a minute or you planning on smacking me with that guitar case?” Laura slowly turned to look at her finally, watching her with suspicion. Carmilla almost wanted to laugh at the tiny scrunched up face the other girl made at her.

She decided not to. (The little puff would definitely smacked her with the guitar case if she had.)

Turning her head, Carmilla’s eyes latched onto Mattie, a finger held up in her direction while she was on the phone. She nearly growled in irritation at her older sister. It had been MATTIE’S decision to drag her to this bar. It had been MATTIE’S determination to try and rope in Laura fucking Hollis and close a deal for some kind of contract. Instead, Mattie had sent her over to do her dirty work while she intercepted a fucking business call. Carmilla turned her attention back to Laura who shifted on her feet this time, switching the guitar case to her other hand, fingers messing through her hair deliberating her decision. Purring softly, Carmilla’s voice dripped in honey, leaning towards the other girl and pressing her lips against the shell of her ear, trying to coax her over. “I’ll make it worth your while cuti-”

“Is there a problem?”

Thor, hammer god of they sky stood behind Carmilla. His voice cracked the loud over the bar like thunder, his large arms crossed over his chest. Carmilla pulled fast from Laura, eyes taking in the large boulder man behind her. “No, we were just talk-”

“Is she bothering you Hollis?” The larger man barely looked at Laura, his eyes focused solely on Carmilla as he took another step closer, silently begging her to even make another move on the smaller girl in front of them. Now if anyone was capable of murder, _it was him._ Laura’s hand flew up, waving him off as she shook her head, her face slightly pink from the altercation going on, honey brown eyes wide as she pushed a hand into his chest. 

“No, Mike it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? Because I can take this little lady aside and talk to her for you.”

“That won’t be necessary, thank you.” Carmilla’s eyes hesitantly watched as Thor took a step back, pointing his fingers towards his face and back at her. _He was watching her._ Letting out a breath, Carmilla rolled her shoulders scowling at the larger man as he stepped back through the crowd. She scowled heavily, curling her lips at his back before turning to look at Laura again. The girl was smiling a little too much for her liking. “What? He didn’t scare me if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not.”

“Well he didn’t.”

“Alright. If you say so.”

“I’m saying so.” Growling the words, Carmilla instantly swallowed the shot in her hands, letting the alcohol burn her throat with satisfaction. She brought the other shot originally intended for Laura to her lips, speaking around the glass as she shot it down, trying to cool her nerves. “So who the fuck was that anyway? Your personal bodyguard?”

“Yes. I mean, he used to be.” Catching her words, Laura fussed her fingers through her hair, catching her lip between her teeth as she nervously shifted her feet. Again. “So you said something about wanting to talk?”

“Right. Talking.” Slamming both empty shot glasses down on the bar top, Carmilla cautiously placed a hand on the girls shoulder, nudging her gently towards an empty table. Drumming her fingers against the sticky top, Carmilla rolled her tongue against the bottom inside of her lip, clicking slightly as she sat across from Laura. “So…”

“So?” 

“Sooo…” Stretching her legs out, Carmilla groaned as she leaned her arm over the back of the chair, slouching down as far as she could. “Look, I’m not sure how the hell to do this. I'm Carmilla and my sister in the stick-up-her-ass-suit over there? She wants to sign you. Or some shit. I honestly don’t know.” Shrugging her shoulders, Carmilla jerked a thumb over her shoulder. Mattie, with her phone still attached to her ear, seemed to notice the pair of eyes on her as she gave them a brilliant smile. Giving a small wave as she turned her back to them, turning her attention back to whatever conversation she was having. “She’ll probably lay this out better for you but in the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you just hung out for a minute. I’d rather not die by the hands of Ms. Death Goddess in a pantsuit.” 

“Sign me?” Laura’s eyebrows flew up, the grip on her water bottle almost crushing it beneath her fingers. Sucking her breath in, she ran her hands over her jeans, her palms immediately sweating at the words. “I-I-I don’t know. I mean I can’t. There’s no way. I mean-” Taking a deep breath, Carmilla watched Laura as she nearly fell apart across from her at the small table. “No.”

“No?” It was Carmilla’s turn for her own eyebrows to shoot up, the drumming in her fingers ceasing. The clipped strain in Laura’s apparent discomfort. She looked smaller sitting across from her, 

“I mean-I don’t know.” Repositioning herself uncomfortably, Laura wrapped her arms around her chest, eyes drawn to the tips of her shoes. As if she was trying to will them to move her up from the table. Out of the bar. Away from whatever second level of hell was swallowing her up. Carmilla tried again.

“To be honest, I don’t know what my sister wants. She seems convinced you’re the perfect opener for my band this summer. God knows why…” Muttering underneath her breath, Carmilla almost laughed at the idea. “That’s kind of a funny thought isn’t it? Some pop princess gyrating her hips on stage singing about sugary sweet love? For a rock band? That’s laughable.” Folding her arms against the table, she drummed out a beat on the surface. “ _love me, cherish me-”_

“Stop it.”

“ _Be my sweet confectionary-_ ”

“I said stop.”

“ _sprinkled on top, cupcake don’t stop-_ ”

Without warning, Laura slammed her hands on the table, knocking her chair back as she grabbed her guitar case, shutting Carmilla up. “You know what? You can tell your sister I’m not interested. Good luck.” Grabbing the back of the chair, Laura pushed it back. Even in her angry haste, she was fucking polite. “Excuse me!” Turning on the soles of her converse, the smaller girl pushed through the crowd of people as fast as she could while simultaneously yelling out apologies for bumping her guitar case against them. 

“Stupid blood sucking vampire wannabe rockstar. Who the hell does she think she is…” Grumbling her anger underneath her breath, Laura made it to the door, closing her eyes as the cold air hit her. _Breathe._ Exhaling, she shivered, remembering her jacket somewhere in the back lounge. She’d get it tomorrow, maybe. Or never. Starting down the street, Laura fished her hands into her pockets, trying to find the keys to her car, only to stop abruptly. Carmilla’s hands were on her guitar case.

“Let go.”

“Laura, come on.”

“I said no. Let go.” Narrowing her eyes Laura tried yanking her guitar away from the other girls hands to no avail. Carmilla slid her hands up the length of the case, clasping her fingers tightly over Laura’s on the handle. Clutching the handle even more firmly, Laura jerked harder. “LET GO.” 

“Look puff princess, I’m sorry. I’m not exactly thrilled at the idea but my sister is adamant about this. Just talk to her for five minutes.”

“I said no. Let go of my guitar.”

“Problem, ladies?”

Both stopped the tug-of-war over the battered guitar case to the snip of Mattie’s voice shooting through the chilled air. Carmilla’s hands instantly dropped the case, almost knocking Laura over with it in the sudden change of weight. Mattie tapped her foot against the wet cement, throwing her sister _a look_ that meant she was in deeper shit than she could ever imagine stepping into. Clearing her throat, Mattie held out a card to Laura from between her fingers, an all too sweet smile on her mouth. “Darling, I hope my monster of a little sister didn’t give you too much trouble. She’s a bit… _obtuse._ ” A snarl almost curled around the words that left her lips. Eyes landing on Carmilla who turned away, running her fingers through her hair muttering something about needing a smoke. Flicking the card sideways, Mattie held it out to Laura. A serpent goading her with an apple. The wicked old hag in Snow White, offering to make all her dreams come true. 

“I’d love to work something out. We can set up a meeting, if you’d like to further discuss the opportunity of perhaps contracting an agreement. I’m sure you’ve heard of Carmilla’s band? Inanna’s Curse?” Laura knew. Laura saw and heard them all over social media. Spotify. Itunes. Tumblr. Instagram. Unwanted Snapchat stories that always somehow ended up on her discover page. Magazines and billboards. It was hard not to notice. Even her friends were hooked. 

“I suppose.”

“We’re looking for a new opener, the last band dropped for...various reasons.” Lips tightening, Mattie instantly smiled through the strain. Laura tried not to narrow her eyes, knowing that the older woman’s curt explanation wasn’t entirely true. “While the record label does a majority of the negotiating and managing the roster they want something new. Fresh. I think you’re perfect. Although, the solo folky act is very cute, we were hoping for something more-”

“Band.”

“Excuse me?”

“Band. I have a band.” Swallowing her words down, Laura felt her earlobes burning. Spreading all the way to the tips and across her scalp. Forcing her words out more coherently. “I mean, I have a band. That plays. I just do the solo stuff occasionally. “ _To get over the crippling fear of anxiety every time you perform._

She doesn’t say the last part out loud.

“Perfect.” Clapping her hands, Mattie tucked the offered card into the pocket of Laura’s flannel shirt. It was two sizes too large on her small frame. Mattie grabbed Laura’s sweaty palms, clasping her right hand over as she shook. “Why don’t you talk it over with your bandmates, and give me a call by Tuesday? We can set up an audition and take it from there.” Carefully, she picked up the girls guitar case that had been forgotten on the ground. Handing it back to Laura who stood dumbfounded at her. Eyes as wide as saucers. “Ta-ta!”

Laura watched as Mattie collected Carmilla from where she stood sulking against a brick wall. Pulling a cigarette from between her lips and smashing it underneath her heel, pushing her along as they silently bickered leaving her alone on the side of the street. Turning towards her car, Laura shoved her case into the backseat of her volvo, eventually climbing into the driver’s seat, both hands on the steering wheel in silence, before her words ate up the quiet of her car.

**“What. The. _Fuck_.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will kind of jump into Laura's little pop princess history & Carmilla will probably fuck up again.  
> I also forgot to add in the last chapter of notes that some of the pronouns used in lyrics for upcoming/future chapters may be changed from he/him etc. to she/her for the sake of the story. 
> 
> I HOPE YOU LIKE.
> 
> As always you can find me on tumblr by the same name.


	3. Spilling Up Some of My Guts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla does some research and Laura still wants to kill her.

“She just shoved the card right into your pocket?”

“Yeah, she told me to call her by Tuesday.” 

“That’s odd.” Nimble fingers slid across the top of a dark blue towel, folding it carefully in half. Corners tucked, neatly piled on top in the laundry basket sitting nearby. Laura sat on an unoccupied washer next to Perry, retelling the events of everything that happened a few nights before. She watched contently as Perry moved on to separating clothes, colors from lights, cold from hot. She loved the familiarity of _Duckie’s Wash & Dry._ The sorting, dropping the coins, the soothing smell of detergent and dryers, rumble of the machines, the snapping sound of others shaking out clean sheets to fold. It made her feel safe. 

Laura’s fingers worked on peeling a rind from the orange in her hands, stopping to suck on the tips every once and awhile. The citrus stung her chapped lips. “It all happened kind of fast.” Laura could still feel the card sitting in her back pocket, a heavy nagging reminder she had to make a decision soon. “But it’s up to you guys too, you know. Not just me.” Laura evenly divided her orange into sections, before shoving the tip of the slice into her mouth. Nursing the acidic fruit. 

Her father always told her vitamin C was important.

“Well. I don’t know. It all seems sort of peculiar to me.” Perry dumped changed into the machine, listening to the small metal _clunking_ noise it made as it hit the bottom. Blowing a loose curl from out of her face, Perry slammed the lid shut as the machine wheezed to life. “ I don’t know Laura. Are you sure you want to do this? After, well, you know, _everything?_ ”

Swallowing a hard piece down her throat, Laura picked another piece of rind off her orange. She was quiet, before shrugging her shoulders. “I guess. I just want to start over. This is probably the best way to do it, right?”

“I think, we should just go in there and blow them off their asses.” Dropping a large bag of clothing on the small table nearby, both Perry and Laura jumped when Charlotte appeared. She had a large sack of clothing, dumping everything out as she started sorting through the large pile. “Sorry I’m so late, Emily was having a dinner party emergency.” 

Laura could see the pinch in Perry’s mouth as Charlotte started shoving her load into the wash without delicately searching for stains, her bucket of cleaning supplies sitting right by. She tried not to laugh at the self-restraint it took the red head to not start fussing over Charlotte’s habits. They had long ago set a rule of boundaries between the three of them, and so far it had worked. Even with the twitching still in place as Perry moved onto dispensing money into another empty washer to start another load. “Either way, it’s not a win or lose situation correct? She did tell you it was an audition. It wasn’t set in stone. If you’re in, we’re in Laura. That’s how it works.”

Humming loudly in agreement, Charlotte spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We’re in this together Laur, we’re a team. You know that.” 

Biting down on the last slice, Laura looked down at her citrus stained hands. 

Sundays were for laundry and pancakes afterwards.  
Not deliberations and decisions.  
She had until Tuesday to decide.

* * *

Carmilla knew five things about Laura Hollis.  


    1\. Her mother, Leena, was the “Ultimate Queen of Pop."  
2\. Laura had shot to fame after releasing _Cupcake_.  
(Topping every chart it appeared on which became one of the best-selling singles of all time.)  
3\. Her debut album became a massive international success.  
4\. Her first co-headlining tour had sold out within minutes.  
5\. At just twenty, she had fallen off the face of the earth.

Her fingers flexed over her keyboard, one bud hanging from her ear, tapping the tip against her space bar in deliberation. She almost felt guilt creeping into her bones, her eyes looking around the empty walls of her apartment. As if someone would pop up over her shoulder the moment she pulled google up, instantly typing in _Laura Hollis._ She scanned outdated news articles (from nearly seven years ago with no help.) Her instagram was private, no twitter, no other social media mentioned. Her wiki page was no more than a small blurb with no image. Bare bones and no cookie crumb trail. There was little to no information on Laura in the last few years. Small sightings, a few tiny fan tagged pictures of Laura in a hoodie looking uncomfortable, a forced smile. 

Carmilla instantly clicked the pictures away. 

Running her her fingers through her hair, she found herself in the deep depths of youtube, scrolling through various videos from nearly eight years ago. Interviews and remixes of that goddamn Cupcake song. Her eyes furrowed, clicking on a video from TRL just before it went off the air, watching Carson Daly awkwardly introducing Laura, spanning across the crowd and toward Laura walking through the sound stage. Platinum blonde, looking completely different from the girl she saw before. Sugar, spice, and everything bubble gum nice. A fucking teeth tingler that made Carmilla grit her own watching Laura introducing her first single next to Carson. Dressed like an innocent all-american girl that probably made tween boys wet their pants. Carmilla instantly closed out the video, scrolling through several others until she came across another. 

If the teeth tingling had been awful before, they were full on rotting. The video opened, four girls dancing on a large white stage, _GIRL UP_ GLOWING in neon pink behind as the intro began. All Carmilla could see was tiny Laura, clad in nothing but faux pink leather from head to toe in sketchers, dancing with three other girls singing about how some other girl wasn’t going to _steal her man_. She instantly closed out the video, unable to see Laura’s short lived career in a girl group, dancing (impressively, she had to admit) to some awful pop song that had even worse lyrics . They lasted a good two years before they disbanded, officially premiering Laura as some bubblegum princess not even six months later. Licking her lips, Carmilla scrolled through one more video. The one same one she had slammed off her television the night Mattie dragged her to that fucking bar.

She opened up the music video, watching as it spanned across a small park, Laura sitting underneath a tree with a group of friends. Her gaze going across the field to a group of guys tossing a football, the song playing as it showed quick close ups of Laura’s face, lips, mouth, fingers curling over her knees as she started to sing. Shaking her head as she watched the group of guys calling after a girl walking by flirting with her. Only to roll her eyes when the guy she was apparently singing about looked in her direction, her friends shoving her until it cut away to dancing in front of the group, her friends dancing in sync behind her as sprinklers went off in the background. Carmilla closed her eyes at the stupid imagery. The bright colors and stupid dance moves, how _un-Laura it was _.__

__How far away it seemed to be from the brief encounter she had with the Laura she met back at the bar. Sullen and angry. Curt and screaming at her on a busy sidewalk while begging her to talk to her sister. The murderous look that could have killed her on spot._ _

__The screen cut away to a ferris wheel, Laura and her ‘group’ of friends walking through a carnival, a large stick of bright pink cotton candy in her hands, walking past a carousel and spinning rides. Teasingly biting off a piece as she noticed her ‘crush’ again at the ring toss. Giggling like a moron as he ‘accidentally’ missed his shot. Laura blowing a large piece of bubblegum in his face as she walked by, only to break out into another ridiculous dance sequence in front of a large rotating ferris wheel. Close ups of Laura’s face. The bright silver and glittering eyeshadow, the pigtails and bright colors saturated on the screen to jump out._ _

_____Love me cherish me,_  
_Be my sweet confectionary,_  
_Sprinkled on top, cupcake don’t stop._

__She instantly slammed her laptop shut, ripping her earbuds out._ _

__Mattie had to be out of her _fucking_ mind._ _

__

____

* * *

She knew she should have eaten something. Having ignored Perry’s encouragement over soggy waffles and coffee. The other girls had hummed with excitement, going over the song list and arrangements. How this was A BIG CHANCE. Mattie had been thrilled at the phone call, telling them to be at the venue at noon sharp. Perry and Charlotte ate the rest of their breakfast in a buzz.

Laura had excused herself to the bathroom and promptly threw up.

“Just breathe Laura. Remember, in and out.” Perry’s voice was far away as Laura tried to remember her breathing, closing her eyes to keep herself from dry heaving all over someone’s shoes again. Backstage, Charlotte tapped her drumsticks over every inch of surface she could, pounding out the beats playing in her head to everything she touched. The beat started pounding into Laura’s head like a mallet, increased by the muffled consoling Perry was trying to do, mixing with the music blasting from the band playing on stage before them. Laura could feel the room spinning, feeling all too hot as she sucked in her breath. 

“I need air.” Spitting out her words abruptly and a little too loud, Laura turned away from both Charlotte and Perry. Ignoring the concerned looks as she shoved some sweaty tattooed guy clad in a leather vest out of her way, banging the exit door that opened out onto a balcony. Breathing in through her teeth, Laura gripped the railing. Below she could hear the traffic, horns blaring, someone screaming as they ran across the street. A car speeding by with rap blasting out of the windows. The noise in her head started to sharpen as she took big gulps of air, trying to calm the trembling in her hands. Her hands shook like an addicts. 

She needed a shot of reality.

“We gotta stop meeting like this cupcake.”

Closing her eyes, Laura nearly broke her jaw from how hard she clenched at the smoke filled voice that broke her thoughts. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was Carmilla, the familiar smell of cigarettes and strong cologne were enough to alert her. Without looking towards the singer, Laura focused her glare down at the street below her. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Alright, so don’t talk.” 

The silence lasted five seconds. 

“Why are you such an asshole?”

Laura could barely see the outline of Carmilla’s face when she dragged on the cigarette between her blood stained lips, watching as her dark eyebrows lifted. Carmilla flicked the rest of the butt over the railing, tilting her head back to release the rest of the smoke in a puff of air as she laughed. “What a loaded question from someone I’ve met only once.”

“You left an impression.”

“I did, didn’t I.” Her words were more statement than a question, an amused look on her lips as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “Can’t say the same for you though. Puff princess. I didn’t get much of an impression at all. My sister has this grand notion that you’re the band we need for this tour and frankly I think she’s fucking crazy.” Walking past, Laura’s grip tightened on the rail as she felt Carmilla lean over, lips pressed against her ear. “Good luck in there, cupcake.” 

Balling her fists, Laura slammed them down angrily.

Oh she was going to make a fucking impression. 

Storming back inside, Laura forgot all about the noise surrounding her. The nerves that had left her hands trembling now left her fingers gripping the neck of her 68’ goldtop les paul, swinging the strap over her body. Rolling her tongue over her lips, Laura readied their equipment across the stage, ignoring the howls that came from Carmilla’s bandmates. Clearly sitting in the fourth row of the empty auditorium save for a few label heads and sound engineers. She checked a glance towards Carmilla who had joined her bandmates, shoving someones shoulder when they started screaming the lyrics to _Cupcake_. Clearing her throat, Laura checked into the mic, keeping her feet and hands occupied with their sound as Charlotte and Perry finished. When both girls nodded their heads, Laura spoke into the mic again above the heckling calls of Carmilla’s bandmates.

“We’re The Buttercups and this song is called Mistake.” 

Laura’s head nodded to the sound of Charlotte’s drums, her hands sliding over her guitar joining in with Perry on bass, stepping forward to the mic as she closed her eyes, humming softly as she sang.

_Oooh, my darling, pick you up just to let you drop_  
_When we got started, I was guarded_  
_I almost forgot about you_  
_It was charming, the way we danced around the truth_  
_We were smiling and always hiding_  
_And when I feel we're somehow quickly slowing._

_Thought I was healthy but I’m choking_  
_It must be catching up my smoking_  
_I wish that I never played_

Laura’s hands slid over the neck of her guitar as Charlotte beat out the chorus on her drums, Perry joining on on backing vocals. She didn’t dare open her eyes.

_You're standing out in the rain tonight,_  
_Like you've got something to say to God_  
_And you got a debt to pay back_  
_For something you did way back_  
_You're standing out in the rain tonight_  
_Like you got something to say to God_  
_And you got a debt to pay back_  
_For something you did way back_  
_You wanna make it okay._

“What did I tell you, mon cher?”

Carmilla barely grunted an acknowledgement to Mattie, shifting away from her sister when she sat down next to her. Her eyes glued to the blonde on stage, swinging her guitar upwards in motion with the redhead on bass, taking a step forward and back to the beat of the music as she continued on singing, keeping her eyes closed in fear of opening them. There was something in the way Laura stood on stage. Silent determination and fear easily seen with the nervous pop in her knees everytime she moved from the mic and around her guitar. The scrunch in her nose as she sang. She definitely wasn’t the Laura Hollis covered in glitter eyeshadow and singing about sprinkled cupcakes and kissing boys. 

Absently tapping her boot to the music, Carmilla instantly stopped the moment she felt Mattie’s eyes on her face who looked as if she was enjoying her sudden discomfort at being caught. Grunting a harmless _fuck off_ to her sister as she slid down further in her seat, pressing her fingers against her face. Her eyes however, stayed aware of the band on stage. Mattie said nothing, her silence and pressed lips were enough to scream enough at Carmilla she was going to hear about it later. 

The fear had instantly melted from Laura’s tense shoulders, throwing herself into the music playing as her fingers expertly slid across the neck and down the body of the gold guitar in her hands as Perry aahhh’d into the chorus behind her, heart slamming and guitar in time with Charlotte’s drums through the instrumental break. Hissing air through her clenched teeth, Laura braved her eyes open to look out into the audience. Eyes focusing on anyone but Carmilla, shoulders and body moving in rhythm.

_You're standing out in the rain tonight_  
_Like you've got something to say to God_  
_And he's got a debt to pay back_  
_For something he did way back_  
_You're standing out in the rain tonight_  
_Like you've got something to say to God_  
_Have you got a debt to pay back_  
_For something you did way back?_  
_You wanna make it okay._

Laura didn’t have knees. They almost buckled under the weight of heavy lungs, the shake in her breath as she tried to breathe, staring out into the crowd. Licking her lips, she mumbled a small _thank you_ into the microphone, constantly unplugging all their gear. Wrapping cords as fast as she could much to the confusion of her bandmates, fleeing the stage as fast she could. Her insides scraped together like sandpaper. Her bones rattling, her nerves shifting into something. A sharp edge puncturing into her gut. 

Without hesitation, Laura deposited her guitar into Perry’s hands.  
Locking herself in the bathroom and vomiting into a sticker and graffiti covered toilet.  
She fell asleep on a musty orange couch.  
Laura didn’t remember much, except for Mattie’s unfortunate regret.

The label went with another band.  
Laura threw up again on the car ride back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter was [Mistake by](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggYjiz9ZN1s) Middle Kids Also for the sake of imagination I'll probably be using them a lot throughout the story as 'the sound' for Laura's band, as well as Carmilla's band sounding like Dead Sara, so lets just go along with it.
> 
> I also visualized Laura's old videos/music to be a mix of [He Loves U Not](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDjI3SD4Cr4) by DREAM in the first video, [Candy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVsJGl5d6E) by Mandy Moore & [Give It To You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijXcYLV1aNg) by Jordan Knight (minus all the dirty implications) in the second. Because pop music is cheesy and fun.


	4. Oppertunities

She was a blur of sweat and anger.

The music pounded through the stereos of the small studio, Laura’s feet barely touching the floors as she moved across them. Lost in her head, lost in the movements and the reflection of the mirrors in front of her, the sound of her shoes sliding against the floor. She could feel the burning in her lungs, the screaming ache in her thighs, the wisps of matted hair sticking to her forehead. Dance was her one refuge, the one place she could forget. Relax. Breathe. Her feet pounded against the hardwood floors, feeling the space in her head becoming nothing but air only to growl and push harder every time she saw Mattie’s face. The expression. The regret. 

_You’ll never be good enough again._

Laura ignored the familiar aching in her knees as she dropped to them, arching her back and hugging herself in motion to the song. Giving herself away to frustration clinging to the hooks of her bones. Trying to gnaw their way into her chest, swallow her heart whole. She wouldn’t let it. Not again. _Not again._ Not again. Sliding up, she tried to burn away all the images that kept creeping back up. Her mother’s face. Danny’s face. The look of her own at the end of everything before it even really started. Kicking her leg up, Laura stretched herself on her toes, bending her knee as the room began to spin. Bending and flexing, spinning faster as her lungs set on fire.

No one she knew quite mastered the fouette like she used to.  
Her teacher always told her how perfect she was.  
Strong legs and perfect form.  
How she used to be.

Laura’s knees immediately gave out, knocking herself into the her own reflection, hands balling into fists as she slammed them into the mirrors. Screaming out angrily over the music echoing in the empty dance studio. Pressing her sweaty forehead against the mirrors, Laura spread her fingers across the cold surface, her lungs desperately working to catch her breath. Slowly opening her eyes, Laura glared at herself. 

_You’ll never be good enough._  
Her mother had always been right.

She was never good enough.

“Laura?”

Inhaling sharply, Laura removed herself from her twin. The angry one that reflected how she really felt. Perry stood at the door of the studio, bag over her shoulder, ballet shoes in hand. Using the back of her hand, Laura wiped the sweat pooled on her forehead, instantly trying to wipe it on her shorts, only to find that she was entirely soaked through. Drenched. Licking her lips, Laura tried to speak, only to find exasperated air and burning lungs closing up her throat. Without another word, Laura marched across the room turning the stereo off. She barely glanced at Perry who quietly found her way to Laura’s side, her fingers wringing around the strap of her dance bag. Laura knew she wanted to ask her. _What’s wrong? Are you alright?_

“It’ll work out Laura. It’s one set back. That’s all.”

She could feel the redheads fingers gingerly touching her shoulders, squeezing it in encouragement. She didn’t have to look at her best friend to know. Perry knew. Perry had been with her for eight years. As her backup dancer when she first started out. As the one who was there after everything in her life began to fall apart. She had been the one to grab Laura’s shoulders and pull her back up. Stitch her pieces back together the best way Perry could. There were still some jagged edges and scars that didn’t quite heal. But Perry had done her best. 

“I know.” Laura’s voice croaked, too exhausted to feel the burning of the tears in the back of her eyes she knew would never come. Instead, she pressed the palm of her hands into her eyes, body sagging in fatigue, the familiar rhythm of a migraine working its way into her temples. “I’m just tired Per.”

“I suggest you go home, shower, and sleep.” Without looking up, Perry’s fingers nimbly started to lace her shoes up, flexing and pointing her toes. “It’s very unhygienic to not shower. You look like you ran a marathon and not to be so frank, you smell like the rear end of a bovine.” 

Blowing the strands of matted hair out of her face, Laura cracked a small smile as she yanked her own bag of her shoulder, heading backwards for the double doors. “Thanks Perry. I needed that.”

“I know you did.” 

Before she could reply, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons began to stream through the speakers. She watched Perry’s arms move and bow over her head, her mass of curls moving as gracefully as she did. Taking in a deep breath, Laura turned on her heels, slamming the studio door open, walking into the last afternoon light. The sky burning away into a pink smog of fire. Reaching her car door, Laura yanked the little black volvo open, depositing her bag into the passenger side. Slamming the door shut, Laura flexed her fingers across her wheel, eyes closing as she leaned forward and pressed her head against it. It had been three weeks since the audition. Three weeks since Mattie had tried explaining about the label going in a different direction with another band, despite all her lobbying for them. Three weeks since she puked all over Carmilla’s shoes. Charlotte had also reminded her the next morning that it had been Carmilla who had carried her out to Perry’s car after she passed out.

Exhaling slowly, Laura rubbed her thumb along the bottom of her steering wheel, easing the nausea growing in her stomach. The fires in her chest cooled down, the pain in her knees still screamed. Sliding her palms over her knees, she could feel the jagged scar. The pattern that ran jagged across her knee caps and across, an invisible pink zipper. How cool it felt against the tips of her fingers, smooth and bumpy, like a small road on a map leading to a dead end. Swallowing the large lump growing in her throat, Laura quickly slammed her keys into the ignition switch, humming the car to life. Slowly rolling her windows down, she could feel the warmth of early summer approaching.  


She could smell heavy flowers and heat, watching the streets drown from view. Highway streets slowly turning into high walls and chain linked fences. The suburbs disappeared and turned into tiny figures in her rearview mirror. She knew the drive from the apartment in the city to the studio was more than out of the way but it was secluded, private. Nobody would look at her and recognize her as _that girl._ The one that earned her whisperings, singing the-song-she-wouldn’t-name behind her back mockingly. It had been one of the main reasons she quit two different studios in the city and found solace in that little studio an hour away, opened by one of her old choreographers. 

Pulling off the freeway Laura navigated down familiar streets, humming softly along with the static of the radio, the buzzing of the city around her, creeping along through the traffic around her. Circling the block six times before a small spot opened up to where she wanted to go, blocking the lane while she turned her turn signal on, sucking in her breath muttering to the cars behind her who can’t hear, trying to parallel park into the tiny space. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _I’m sorry.”_

Fingers gripping her keys, Laura turned off the ignition, mentally flipping off the line of cars honking their horns as they drove by. No matter how she drove, how fast she walked, or how she slowed down to be courteous, someone was disgruntled over it. She could still hear her fathers nagging voice in the back of her head as she deposited quarters quickly into the meter. _“The city is dangerous Laura. It’s overwhelming and stressful, did you know that a meta study found that city dwellers may have a 21% greater likelihood of developing anxiety disorders, and a 39% increased risk of mood disorders? That the crime rate is up at least 40% compared to last year? Muggings and beatings. You’re a young woman. After everything you’ve been through, do you really want to move so far away?”_

She had needed to move that far away. Far from where anyone would have been able to find her. Far away from away from all the reminders that still seemed to cling onto her shoulders like an invisible weight. The same invisible weight that always made her back and shoulders ache with all those reminders. Instinctively, Laura reached over, rubbing her fingers into the sharp blades of her shoulders as she made her way into MILK. She shuffled through the line, eyes barely glancing at the neatly written chalk menu when she felt a familiar pair of claws creeping over her shoulder. blood red, the same color that would drip from her throat if those nails sliced right through. Laura nearly tripped over her shoes when she jerked away, meeting an all too bright smile on the face of Matska Belmonde.

“So jumpy. I didn’t mean to frighten you little one. I was wondering if you possibly had the time to sit for a moment with me and chat?”

Laura could feel Mattie’s eyes burning into her, as if she dared her to even think about saying no. “Um, sure.”

“Perfect! Just tell Fernando over there to put it on my tab. There are some things I would like to discuss with, I’ll be over here.” Laura watched as Mattie turned, strutting away in her louboutins, the red on the bottom of the black shoes seemed to radiate with each step she took. Laura ordered a muffin to go with her large coffee to spite Mattie. 

The older woman barely glanced up when Laura joined her at the small marble table, her drink still untouched. Phone strapped to her ear, leg perfectly curved over the other as she ran her thumb over the bottom of her red nails. “Ce n'est pas comme ça que je fais mon affaire. C'est un contrat à toute épreuve.” 

Laura maneuvered her muffin around her plate, trying not to eavesdrop on the obvious conversation that was going on between Mattie and whoever was on the receiving end of the phone. Her eyes snapped up however when Mattie’s voice dipped dangerously low, letting out a laugh that made the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Vous lui dites qu'il va manger ses propres boules s'il essaye même de nous emmener au tribunal. aurevoir Cherie!”

“I’m so sorry about that. You know how temperamental musicians can be, such man-babies.” Smiling all too sweetly. Mattie placed her phone down on the surface of the table, focusing her apt attention back to Laura who contemplated how much time it would take for her to run from between where she sat and to the door. “I wanted to apologize for how things turned out. I was so sure things would work out in our favor, but the upper management wanted to go with someone a little more known.” 

“It’s fine. We’re fine. I’m sure there will be other opportunities.” Laura shrugged her shoulders, hoping Mattie wouldn’t see through her lies. The heavy ones sitting on her shoulder as she slowly peeled the wrapper from her banana nut muffin, licking a crumb off of her finger as she met the other woman’s eyes.

Mattie drummed her fingers around the body of her coffee, barely bringing it to her lips before she placed down hard on the table once more. “I meant it when I said I saw a lot of potential in you Laura. I saw you you were up on that stage and I know that if you let me manage you we could-”

Laura nearly choked on Mattie’s words, laughing at what she had proposed. “Manage us? You’re joking right? We fucked up that audition. We haven’t even played a proper show outside of a bar and we don’t even have an actual album or anything! This is too-”

“It’s not too much.” Mattie’s words snapped at Laura’s face, causing her to stop mid-rant, her face heating up slightly. Sighing, her words came out more softly, pressing the palm of her hand flat against the center of the table as an offering. “Ms. Hollis, I don’t go around chasing down people I don’t have confidence in. I know what I saw that night at the bar and even more that night at the audition. I still think you could achieve that dream of starting over if you let me help you.”

The younger girl hovered in her seat, bag in hand ready to bolt before Mattie pressed her palm down on the table. A peace offering to make her listen. When Laura still refused to respond, Mattie fished into her purse, pulling out a neatly folded flyer in her hands and dropped it on the table in front of Laura. “My sister is playing a show tonight at The Angler. I’d love for you to come by, enjoy yourself, and maybe let me sway you into letting me help you out. If not, I promise I will leave you alone.” 

Without hesitation, Mattie stood up from the table, pushing a pair of large sunglasses onto her face. Giving Laura one last brilliant smile as she waved her bloody nails. “Do come tonight darling, you won’t regret it.” Turning on her heels, Laura watched Mattie leaving, coffee cup long forgotten on the table.  
Leaving Laura with that fucking flyer mocking her on the table.

* * *

The line stretched further than Laura could see past. Past post offices and boba cafe’s, blocking apartment buildings and laundromats. Past the small thai place Laura, Perry, and Charlotte liked to frequent most weeknights. There was no mood for thai that night at least, not with Charlotte pulling Laura along by the wrist, past the long lines and the curious looks as the headed towards the front of the venue, causing her to nearly tripping over her old high-top sneakers. Dingy white and covered in blue-ink stained flowers and constellations. “Charlotte, I’m pretty sure we have to-”

“Laura. When a rockstar’s super hot and intimidating manager invites you to a sold out show, there are no lines. Hello handsome.” Cutting the other girl off, Charlotte started flirting with the large man working the door. Laura shivered in the solid green army jacket sitting over her shoulders, almost wishing she had listened to Perry about carrying another sweater. Perry who clicked her tongue against her teeth on her way out to work another night shift at the ritzy hotel downtown. The way she shoved her arms through her thick jacket, curls perfectly pinned to the top of her head. Her pants smelt like starch and didn’t wrinkle when she moved out the door, telling them _for the love of everything behave and try not get into trouble._

“Names?” The boulder working the door barely looked at the clipboard in his hands, looking bored out of his mind as he flipped a small flashlight on. Just another night at work, another night of dealing with pushy kids and impatient fans. Clearing her throat, Laura bunched her hands inside the pockets of her coat, trying to talk above the chatter in her teeth. 

“Laura.”

“Last name?”

“Hollis.”

“I’m sorry miss I can’t-.”

“Hollis.”

“Holly?”

“HOLLIS. Laura Hollis. Hollis.” Nearly shouting her name, Laura could feel the heat rising into her cheeks, spreading up the back of her neck and the sick feeling of sweat collecting in her palms. There were a few curious heads turned in her direction from the line, a small murmur of hushed excitement collecting. She nearly died when the boulder clicked his flashlight on her face, nearly blinding her as she winced, trying to look away. 

“Hollis? Laura Hollis as in _Cupcake_ Laura Hollis?”

“Yup.” Laura smacked her lips around the word at the mention, closing her eyes and wishing the street would swallow her up. She could feel Charlotte wrapping her wrist around her elbow for security. Support. She swallowed the bile rising in her throat down as the boulder nearly turned from scary ass motherfucker with a clipboard to showing white teeth in excitement, his voice booming over their heads.

“NO WAY. My sister was a huge fan of yours. She used to play that song like a million times. Can I get a picture with you to send to her? Maybe something to sign? She’ll never admit to it but she would be stoked if you could sign something for her.” Laura was praying for hell to open up and swallow her whole in that moment, with his clipboard now shoved in her hands, paper flipped over with a thick sharpie nestled between her clammy fingers. She strained a smile across her face, messily looping her name like she had done a million times before. She ignored the way the sharpie stained the tips of her fingers. Black and blotchy, something to mock her for the rest of the night. Laura could only squeak in reply when the bouncer wrapped a beefy arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug, holding up a peace sign as she tried to plaster a smile on her face.

The flash from the camera burned holes into her eyes.  
Small black and red dots danced in her line of vision.  
The night hadn’t even started and she could already feel the burning in her stomach.  
She was _not_ going to cry from mortification and from the the laughter of strangers in line.

“Come on Laur.” With soft hands, Charlotte guided Laura quickly in through the doors, the sounds of the outside finally died on her ears. The venue was already hot, Laura felt grossly out of place. The space was _huge_. With a large floor and even bigger stage. Laura couldn’t imagine herself up on that stage for a second. She had sold out stadiums and arenas on a co-headlining tour, toured non-stop for years and months at a time. 

But this was something differently entirely all together.  
This was smaller. More intimate. 

“Laura? Come on backstage is this way.” Laura barely felt Charlotte’s cold hands press around her wrist, eagerly pulling her along as she continued to stare at the arched ceiling. It was _beautiful._ With its ornate balconies, golden columns, chandeliers, and frescoe inspired ceiling. She felt dumbstruck just looking at it, jerking back to reality when she felt her nose collide in-between Charlotte’s shoulder blades. Barely listening to what she said to another security before they were escorted down a hallway so dark Laura she could barely see the tips of her shoes, trying to keep up with Charlotte’s who dragged her along. “Charlotte, would you stop I’m going to-OMPH!”

Toe hooking into the frame of a wood stripped door marked PRIVATE, Laura _flew._

Face first.  
Into an orange carpet.  
That _clearly_ had not been cleaned in a long while.  


“Watch out, flying cupcake comin’ through.” Curling her fingers into the dirty orange carpet, Laura barely had to glance up through the length of her lashes to know who spoke. That drunk, gravelly voice. She was met with a pair of paint stained docs and leather pants. A pair of hands dug into the back of her shoulders dragging her up, nearly coming face to face with a familiar pair of red lips, Carmilla smiling all too viciously. 

“Looks like we meet again puff princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hi, I promise I'm still alive._ Life sort of swept me up in a series of wonderful  & fortunate events. Like Hayley Kiyoko blessing my smol gay soul four times this year. (its 20gayteen y'all.)
> 
> ANYWAY I promise I'm not abandoning this yet, I have way too many outrageous ideas planned out to just stop. I also have a playlist in the making for this fic I'm slowly putting together that I may either link here or on my [tumblr](http://smokeseasons.tumblr.com) in the next few chapters once things get going so keep an eye out. 
> 
> Songs used in this chapter: [The Four Seasons (Summer) - by Vivaldi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY1p-FmjT1M)


End file.
